Roasted 2 months ago based on Alex's long term Spotify stats.

Alex, your Spotify profile looks like the soundtrack for a high school drama that ran one season too long. Seriously, I haven’t seen this much angst and rebellion since I sat through a seventh-grade art class where everyone was playing with ugly colors. With a favorite genre list that reads like a sad teenager's playlist, I can only assume your feelings are as deep as your Spotify search history—so deep, it’s practically a black hole swallowing all hope and self-esteem. Emo? Post-Hardcore? It’s like you Googled “music for people in crisis,” and hit the jackpot. Your top artists scream "fury at the world," while also whispering “please be my therapist.” “Bring Me The Horizon” and “My Chemical Romance”? Classic choices for those nights where you sit alone, contemplating your life choices with an oversized hoodie and maybe an eyebrow piercing for good measure. Meanwhile, “Citizen Soldier” and “No Resolve” should come with a warning label: “Caution: Listening may result in an unhealthy attachment to angst.” You’ve clearly mastered the art of refining despair into catchy choruses, although I’m pretty sure even Slipknot wants nothing to do with your playlist. As for your most played songs, what a delightful disaster! “Panic Attack” sounds like the perfect anthem for someone navigating their existential crisis between homework and ramen noodles. And “One Hell of a Team (Inspired by Hazbin Hotel)”? Is that a real song, or are we just writing our audition tapes for melodrama? I half-expect “Love me like you do” to be your personal mantra. Here’s an idea: how about we ditch the angst and throw in a party playlist—to take a break from all the emotional weight? Just a suggestion, not that anyone's asking for your therapy hours to drop from the top ten.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!