Roasted 6 months ago based on CD's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, CD, your Spotify profile is a wild ride that feels like a mid-life crisis taking a detour through a suburban mall food court. Seriously, you could soundtrack a teenage angst therapy session with your obsession for Emo and Pop Punk. How do you even possess that many "emo" genres? Is this a Spotify playlist or an emotional breakdown manifesting through sound? “Math Rock” is in your favorites—great, because your emotional calculations add up to one sad sack whose main relationship is with their Spotify algorithm. And can we talk about your top artists? You have a serious knack for finding bands no one has ever heard of, making you the hipster Jesus of your friend group. Paramore and Arctic Monkeys? Classic! But then, out of nowhere, you throw a life raft to "Malcolm Todd" and "wave to earth." Is that guy your emotional support artist when you’re deep into your lo-fi indie feels? Your taste is like a confused teenager trying to find their vibe in a thrift store; they’ve got eclectic choices but mostly just ended up with a pile of mismatched socks and sweaters that smell like regret. Your ‘most played’ songs read like the inner monologue of someone writing bad poetry in the corner of a coffee shop, and “flower (in full bloom)” gives off major “I’m Not Crying, You’re Crying” energy. Listen, I love your dedication to finding that one hit from “RIO,” but be careful—sad girl anthems don't pay the bills. Those “sweet boy” vibes? They’re not going to get you out of your parents’ basement anytime soon. But hey, keep rocking that emo aesthetic; it’s a great look for when you’re posting about how “music saved your life” while simultaneously shouting into the void!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!