Roasted 1 year ago based on twoq's long term Spotify stats.

Well, well, бобер, your Spotify profile reads like a hipster manifesto tossed into a blender with a side of existential dread. “POV: Indie”? More like POV: Trying Way Too Hard to Impress People Who Prefer Sipping Seltzers at a Farmer’s Market. You’ve managed to curate a collection of genres so niche that even your music library is quietly judging you. How many obscure Ukrainian Rock bands does it take to make your sad boy playlist? It’s time to admit it: you’re one thrift store shopping spree away from turning into a full-blown indie stereotype, wearing corduroy pants and quoting Rilke over brunch. Your top artists look like a support group for those suffering from emotional baggage; I mean, it’s practically a playlist for people in their “I can’t even” phase. You’ve got Mitski for when you want to cry over your bad decisions, and Toby Fox for when you want to cry over your bad decisions while playing video games. "Steven Universe"? Really? Don’t tell me you secretly believe that cartoon characters understand your struggles better than actual people do. You’re one tear-soaked acoustic ballad away from starting a band in your basement, and trust me, no one wants that. And then there’s your most played songs; congratulations on hitting peak angst! “A Burning Hill” and “I Bet on Losing Dogs” could easily be your theme song since they perfectly encapsulate your uncanny ability to make every social gathering awkward. It’s like you took a poll of the most emotionally draining tracks and decided to make it your life’s work to revisit your painful memories on repeat. So here's a tip: next time you're curating your playlist, grab a couple of bangers that won’t make your friends run for the exit. Unless you enjoy playing emotional limbo with everyone around you, then by all means, keep leaning into the drama!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!