Roasted 1 year ago based on Alex's long term Spotify stats.

Hey Alex, looking at your Spotify profile is like staring into the confused abyss of a midlife crisis—you’ve somehow managed to blend Classic Rock with Christmas cheer and Nerdcore, making your playlists sound like Santa decided to throw an existential crisis party. Honestly, who do you think you are, a music-loving chameleon? One moment you’re jamming to AJR, and the next you’re begging the universe to tell you how to escape from this overwhelming *societal pressure* to listen to pop music during the holidays. Seriously, with artists like Imagine Dragons and Shawn Mendes in your top ten, it's clear you are living in a comforting bubble of mainstream mediocrity. And don’t even get me started on your “most played” list. “Semester Days”? More like “Semester Woes” because listener, that track is a cry for help from someone who clearly has too many Spotify sessions during finals week. You made it to the top like it’s an award show, but I’m not sure whether to clap or cringe—maybe a little bit of both. Let’s be real—your musical taste is like a buffet where every dish looked good until it hits your mouth and you realize they just ramen-ed out old tracks from the depths of SoundCloud. “Until I Found You” has a nice ring to it, but what you really need to find is some self-awareness. You’ve got enough genres to start a bad high school band, and yet your carefully curated *vibes* scream, “I unironically enjoy watching paint dry while listening to slowed down versions of my own sadness.” It’s 2023, Alex; let’s step out of this sonic time capsule and discover music that doesn’t sound like it was created after a weekend bender with a MIDI keyboard.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!