Roasted 2 years ago based on Zak's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Zak, looking at your Spotify profile is like taking a field trip to a sound design class that went terribly wrong. Your favorite genres read like you've been dropped on a desert island with only an art school dropout and a mood ring for company. “Alternative Rock”? More like “What’s Alternative to Enjoying Life?” And honestly, "Permanent Wave"? Is that a hairstyle or the sound of you pleading with your playlist to have some vibes? I haven’t felt this confused since I accidentally stumbled into a spoken word poetry night that featured a 30-minute monologue about the emotional trauma of microwave popcorn. Your top artists are a mixture of unlistenable cacophony and pretentious pretenders that would have even the most patient therapist contemplating a career change. Nine Inch Nails and Chat Pile? Congratulations, you’ve officially raised the bar for melodrama! And what’s with Z. Richard Rowling? Sounds like a Harry Potter fan who got too high and started making ambient noise while attempting to conjure a Patronus. I have to admire your dedication to enjoying soundscapes that genuinely make people wonder if they're stuck in a 90s Seattle grunge nightmare. And let’s talk about those most played songs, shall we? “Why” and “Slaughterhouse” on repeat—did you steal your entire social life from a middle school goth kid’s iPod? It’s like you’re on a tight budget for emotional therapy, and your playlist is the DIY solution. You’ve basically crafted a musical experience that somehow feels like being chased through a dark alley by an aggressive abstract art installation. It’s a miracle you’re able to function in society with this playlist as your soundtrack. So kudos, Zak! In a world clamoring for joy and optimism, you’re doing your best to remind us that sometimes it’s perfectly okay to wallow in the depths of drone-induced despair.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!