im 20 but not quite yet. im 17 & sunkissed & sweet. but, no, im 15 & on the precipice of something.

maybe im still only 7. this feeling that doesn’t have a name twists me up inside. i’m standing on the ocean shore with the tide kissing my legs as it tries to pull me in deeper. my pants are soaked, my feet are buried, & my heart is in my throat. im nowhere near where i thought i’d be, here, at 19.